MY SOULMATE

thelonerose

Yin to My Yang
This is my favourite picture of me and my twin. For me a soulmate would be someone who knows you better than you know yourself and that was who Janet was. She was someone who I could talk about anything with. Even things I wouldn’t talk to Mom about. She was my best friend and I always had someone to go places with. When we went on the train I always had someone to sit beside. I always had a roommate when we travelled.
She always took care of me when I was sick and I did the same for her. We loved cooking together and were always a step ahead of the other person. I loved going Christmas shopping with her…now I order my stuff online. When we went clothes shopping she was the person who would tell me “no, that doesn’t look good”.
We…

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ALL ABOUT ME

thelonerose

All About Me
Explain why you chose your blog’s title and what it means to you.
My blog is titled thelonerose. In the US and Canada I am a twinless twin (someone whose twin has died). In the UK they refer to it as a lone twin. Rose is my middle name so it’s a combination of the two. Underneath it says “my journey as a twinless twin).
I have journalled for over 8 years now since Janet died. It was my outlet, my only means to release all the emotions that I felt after Janet died. I never thought I would be writing a blog or that people would even be interested in reading what I had to say.
I always knew that I wanted to tell our story but many people told me it’s dwelling on it to write about it. This blog is a place where I…

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Memories

thelonerose

Moved to Tears
Mom was transferred to Parkwood Hospital for rehabilitation yesterday morning. I was having our laundry tub replaced in the afternoon so I was unable to visit until this morning.
I took 3 blog posts in to Mom. The one about Dad’s workshop, the one called “What it means to live my life honouring my twin” and the one I wrote this morning. By the time she was finished she was “moved to tears”. Mom and I are both criers, we’re emotional. When she was finished she said “these are good”. She didn’t have to say anything because I already knew. If I can make Mom cry they’re good!
When Mom phoned yesterday she told me her room number and said “I think it’s on the 5th floor”. In the back of my mind I thought there was something familiar about that number and I got off the…

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MOVED TO TEARS

thelonerose

Moved to Tears
I know the prompt says to describe the last time you were moved to tears by something beautiful but I’m going to do it a little differently and write a list of times in my life.

When my Dad was in the hospital dying of cancer I went to leave and I leaned over and gave him a hug and a kiss and said “luv you” and he said “I love you too”. That was the first time in my whole life he told me that he loved me. It’s the hardest thing in the world to be able to say goodbye to someone you love and know that you are leaving them.

This makes me cry everytime I read it. It was written to me by a friend from church who now lives in Sarnia. I was touched that he drove to London to suppport me…

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PHOTO CHALLENGE OFF SEASON–POINSETTIA

thelonerose

Off-Season
This is a picture I took in Grenada of pointsettia. It looks nothing like I think of how pointsettia’s look. They are smaller and in pots. I had no idea they grew this big.

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My Last Supper

thelonerose

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry…
for tomorrow we die. The world is ending tomorrow! Tell us about your last dinner — the food, your dining companions, the setting, the conversation.

I would want to be surrounded by all my friends and my Mom. How would I transport someone from England, Portugal, Australia, Maine, Colorado to my party? Ok, let’s just say all the logistics were taken care of then they would all be there. They have supported me so much since Janet died and 4 of them I haven’t known that long. The setting would be at the Inn down the street. We would be dressed in our finest clothes and eat all the food that I am not allowed to eat now. We would have pizza, french fries, cake and tons of champagne. I know it sounds like a weird combination but I miss pizza!! I wouldn’t have to…

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Carcinoid – don’t break my heart!

Ronny Allan - Living with Neuroendocrine Cancer

Carcinoid – don’t break my heart!

Last week the papers seemed to be full of cancer stories and one that particularly caught my eye was that cancer had climbed to second place on the list of the world’s biggest killer diseases. The statistics were captured between 1990 and 2013 with smoking, obesity and living longer apparently contributing to the rise. Heart disease still has the top spot.  It got me thinking about how unlucky it would be to succumb to both?  I then remembered I knew something about a type of Cancer that can actually lead to heart disease.

Neuroendocrine Cancer has certain unique features whereby tumours can produce one or more symptoms which are known collectively as a syndrome.  The most common type of Neuroendocrine Tumour, known as Carcinoid, can be accompanied by Carcinoid Syndrome which if not diagnosed and treated early enough, can lead to an additional complication known…

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Growing into myself

A beautiful mind!

thelonerose

<a href="https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/dear-leader/">Dear Leader</a>

I am able to go to writing class today.  When I came into the library I was greeted by the woman who leads the class.  She asked how everything is and said how proud my Mom would be of the person that I have become.  She said there is a new confidence in me that my heart isn’t as heavy.  I know what she means.  I think it’s because before when things happened I internalized it a lot…now I have something that is just for me.  A passion.  It did take me a while to believe that I am a writer and not just someone who is writing her thoughts down on paper (or on a screen)

I guess I have developed more of an inner strength.  While it’s nice to hear that people are proud of me I finally know it for myself.

To everyone who…

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Linger

Only a twin knows…

thelonerose

Linger
Tell us about times in which you linger — when you don’t want an event, or a day to end. What is it you love about these times? Why do you wish you could linger forever?

TWIN FRIENDS
How does it feel to be known from the start?
A feeling of fullness inside my heart
People who “get it”, they already know
They’ve suffered the loss and sorrow
Twins who walk with me along the road
A friend to guide me and lighten the load
How can it be, we laugh and have fun,
The clouds have lifted and there is the sun
We’re honouring love…
the gift of our twin
Put back together, feel whole again

This is a poem I wrote about going to a Twinless Twin Conference in Minneapolis. When I arrived a twin friend of mine was waiting near the door and gave me a…

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Hi My Bud

What being a Lone Twin is like… Poignant letter… beautiful words!

thelonerose

Singular Sensation
Hi my bud, I miss you. So much has changed since you have gone.
Our birthday is coming up and I hope you are ok with me spending it alone. I wish I could go and talk to you and put flowers on the grave like I usually do but know that you are loved everyday.
Yesterday was the Tecumseh Reunion. Turns out no one from our class went so I didn’t go. It would have been awkward to go by myself…to possibly have people ask where you were. Fond memories of Camp Hermosa. Remember the skit that Ljiljana, Erin and Tasha did with the teachers? Daryl putting silly putty on Mr. Bainbridge’s desk. I look back at the school picture and think “look at how pretty we look” (even though the other girls were wearing pants). I can’t believe it’s almost 30 yrs since we graduated, feels…

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